“Whatever wisdom may be, it is far off and most profound—who can discover it? So I turned my mind to understand, to investigate and to search out wisdom and the scheme of things and to understand the stupidity of wickedness and the madness of folly.” (Ecclesiastes 7:24-25)
To fear the Lord is wisdom, to shun evil is understanding. Knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
I am seeking wisdom. Not the wisdom of 18 year olds, deciding it’s timely to move from the dorm to an apartment the week before finals. Not the wisdom of 20 years olds, bragging about getting caught up on their bills because welfare paid a portion of their debt. Not the wisdom of 14 year olds who *might* be demonstrating some anger-management issues over lost privileges (“Not passing all of your classes? No computer/No TV – even if it is Spring Break).
The New Testament gives us wisdom by the Spirit, searching all things, even in the deep things of God. I seek the mind of Christ, through the Spirit. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” Without the Spirit we cannot accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, they are foolishness to us. (1 Corinthians 2)
As I work in my garden, weeding, tilling, pruning, planting, I pray. I pray for discernment. I pray for peace – and continued tongue-biting. I pray for clarity in my understanding of God’s will for me. I know where my daydreams take me. Do my dreams align with where God wants me to go?
A couple a weeks ago, at retreat team meeting, the reading was about the idols we ‘set-up’ for ourselves, entwined with the will of God. A team member told of her concerns that her daughter was not raising her grandson in the Church. She worried about her grandson, but is learning to give him up to God, trust God. Another team member said, “so your desires for your grandson’s future are the idol.”
“Do my dreams align with where God wants me to go?”
In the yard is the perfect place to pray this one out. ygw, you are in my prayers, too. We both struggle with the angst of parenthood. Thanks so much for writing here and allowing me to read and feel your prayer, angst, wisdom. Barbara
Barbara, as always, thank you for your insightful comments.