“It is senseless to pay tuition to educate a fool, since he has no heart for learning.” Proverbs 17:16
Time for one of my personal disclosures here. Starting with myself: I was 17 YO when I started college. Boy, don’t you know I was something!
After my first year, I was all that and more. My first summer home was filled with raw contention between myself and my parents (the folks paying for my college education). As with many in that situation I rankled at all of the rules. By the end of summer my best friend and I had determined that our best strategy was not college but to live the bohemian life in….Oklahoma City, OK. Wow. Sounds like a flawless strategy, eh? Not.
I spent 6 months in OK. Most of which were part of a serious effort to get out of OK. Humbled, I went back to UT having only missed one semester. I consider Round II the period of martyrdom. My school ID shows without question the level of misery to which I was subjecting myself. I made it a whole semester and a half before succumbing. What happened next is a whole other story.
Years later I went back to college and finished my degree in Engineering (paid for out of my own pocket, grants, scholarships and loans that I paid off ahead of schedule). I am not ashamed to say that at 17 I was a fool and I had no heart for learning. By the time I was 25 I’d corrected both of those “ailments.”
Fast forward to today: My oldest 2 left home without any interest in college. Only one finished HS, and that through the GED. My 3rd is attending college but she decided to eschew parental funding. Since she seems to have obtained magic-funding, we’re thinking this is part of the great-government-bailout of ’09. “No comment” on the government’s propensity for trying to educate those with no heart for learning. In chatting with #3 this week she commented that she’s glad she’s majoring in Art because it’s not very academically demanding. I’m glad I’m not funding the “not very academically demanding” education.
TIP: Don’t tie up your $$ in a 529 (college fund) since you may find yourself with more $$ there than your 1 remaining child can possible need, even if he is not a fool and he has a heart for learning.
Sigh. I just paid off my student load last month. I had a heart for learning but the parents had no forethought on the subject… I was on my own from the get go. Considering the path that you took as a young woman, I find it wonderful that you chose to plan for your children's futures in education, even if they didn't come to fruition. You are a wonderful mother!
I'm needing to call you badly. 16 is killing me and the Hubby. Worse is we know it's not that bad and it could be real worse. We are faint-hearted, I fear. Surely you have a Bible verse for us?
'Sofaras finances, can you transfer the 529 at all?
Maybe tomorrow, eh?
Barbara
PS Congrats, Jeanette!
Fran,
Though I don't know you, I have come back over and over to your blog because you truly have lots of thought that goes into your posts. Also, as one who is very visual I am drawn to the eye with the teardrop, it compels me. I see that you have a thirst for the Lord and let us rejoice in that. I also see the teardrop within you that continues to fall, keeping you from being able to fully rejoice in the power and majesty of our Lord. You seem to focus far too much on the negatives in your children, rather than the positives and the possibilities within them. I think that this could be your Biggest Angst. It shall remain that way until you TRULY allow God to something that is restorative and renewing within your being. You MUST for your childrens sake (even if they are grown) begin to profess and speak about their greatness. Then and only then will they begin to live into their potential. I pray that it is not to late for them, because you have obviously spoken such the opposite over them for the entirety of their lives. But God can restore ANYTHING to it's rightful place when we cooperate with Him. Let go of all the negative that you see in each of your children, no matter how hard it is for you to do. Begin to see with new eyes, with Christ eyes the beauty in them, even if it is only 1 thing, speak that 1 thing in positive ways over that child, especially the child that it is most difficult for you to do.
I think that God cries at the way you see so much of the negative in your children. Surely you would not what Him to view you this way would you?
I am praying for you because I can see that you are striving for His wisdom, but NOW begin asking for His GRACE and MERCY to be ever present with you as well.
Blessings,
Angel
I don't know who the hell Angel is, but she is under the impression that she knows more than she actually does.
My guess is that her children are small.
My other guess is that she clearly hasn't met your children. Bless their hearts.
May the Lord help her to think before she publishes that which she doesn't know.
Oh, and I remain the greatest parent ever having no children to prove me wrong. ; )
Dear Angel,
I'm glad you've found value in your visits to this site. This post offers some context for my "parenting confessions": http://amothersangst.blogspot.com/2009/08/about-this-blog.html
Should you ever want to visit and discuss life, parenting, children, God and godliness, my door is open to you. I remain God's humble servant.
Peace,
This is baffling too. I'm not near as good of a person as you and all my kids went to top end colleges with scholarships. I'm basically what people like you consider a bad person.
Maybe it's the Devil?
Dear Anonymous,
Yes, but only because you appear to be a total bitch. Good luck with that.
Go with God,
The Diva