We’ve been giving Daughter #2 rides to/from church Wednesdays and Sundays so that she can babysit (paid position). This generally requires us to take 2 vehicles (the SUV and the “little car” – not my mustang because no way is the car-seat working in the back seat).
Today on the way from church to her home, Precious G-son dropped his juice bottle. It landed on the floor (backseat) amidst the empty and half-empty water bottles.
D#2: “You and dad have are bad about collecting half-empty water bottles.”
Me: “Why do you say that?”
D#2: “Because the truck and car always have a bunch of half-empty water bottles.”
Me: “So why are you assuming I’m a contributor? Have you checked the mustang for half-empty water bottles?”
D#2: “Well, I notice there are always half-empty water bottles around the house, too.”
{Side note – last week she asked me about my relaxation practices because she claimed I never relax. She cited my doing e-mail while watching TV as an example. The computer and TV are in different rooms. I mention this because, while we DO have a lot of empty and half-empty water bottles in the car, we do NOT have “a bunch of half-empty bottles” around the house.}
Me: “So why are you assuming I’m a contributor? Your logic is flawed. I’m not saying whether or not I *am* a contributor, just that you’re leaping from an observation to a conclusion.”
D#2: “Oh, I see. I guess it would be like my accusing my husband of leaving his dirty dishes laying around, even though some of the dirty dishes are mine.”
Me: “Actually, it would be more like my coming over to your apartment and saying ‘You have a bad habit of leaving your dirty dishes laying around’ even though there are 3 of you living there. My comment might be based on the observation that you’re the only person I ever see there and therefore I’d incorrectly assume that you’re the person leaving the dirty dishes laying around. You are a very logical person so I’m trying to help you see the fallacy in your conclusion.”
D#2: “Oh, I see. Well, it was just an observation.”
Me: “Well, your observation sounded a lot like a criticism.”
D#2: “Are you okay?”
Me: “Yes, I’m just wondering if you realize how you come across sometimes.”
I’m not sure if I’m okay or not. I’m not sure if my feedback was loving or harsh. Maybe I was just being defensive. Personally, I don’t think the collection of 6-7 bottles in the back of the car is any of D#2’s business, especially since we’re going out of our way to ferry her to and from church twice a week.
