FGHart

I have mixed feelings about the banner for this site. I was looking for something that captured the theme of the blog and the “wringing hands” images seemed trite. I ran across this image while surfing through Google’s library of images. Photoshop modifications resulted in the banner you see today.

This weekend I contemplated changing the banner, taking the “It’s kinda ‘emo‘” feedback to heart. To be fair, I’ve received mixed feedback. As a reminder that this banner is appropriate, conversations with 3/4 of my children today left me believing no better image would do. The image just below to the right (the quoted scripture and the linked scripture) provides balance – reminding me to turn my angst over to God.

Similarly, today’s gospel left me with the proper perspective. When Mary was told she would bear a son who would be called the Son of the Most High, and the angel Gabriel reassured her “nothing will be impossible with God” she responded, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” (Luke 1:26-38)

I want nothing more than to be considered an obedient child of God, faithful in all that I do. I am not seeking my children’s approval, but His.

I am Your servant, Lord. Let it be with me according to Your will.

Amen.

I’m as anxious about the guppies as I am about my own babies. We’re gearing up for a big road trip and I’m worried about how well they will fare in the nursery while we’re away. I’m worried about how well they will fare if they’re not in the nursery.

The guppies are 2 weeks old and they have a 100% survival rate. In the spirit of letting the offspring live dangerously, I’ve just let half of them loose into general population. We’ll see how they do over the next few days. I’ll likely let the rest of them loose by Monday….unless the cannibal parents dine on all of the ones I’ve released. Then I’ll definitely risk their safety in the confines of the nursery.

And for those who have been following the saga all along: The sole survivor of the first litter/brood is doing fine and dandy.

Alas, my self-declared “independent” rebel teen #3 apparently hasn’t paid her bill for housing. I’m in uncharted waters of parental experience (at least from my perspective). The bill came here, addressed to me (because when the university housing called to tell me the letter they sent to our address was returned, I told them to write my name in – not sure if C had put in a change-of-address…and suspecting, yes suspecting…a bill).

I should mention a) said teen is in town (she notified her younger brother “T”) and b) we received a Christmas card that implied she had no intention of seeing us over the holiday break (she returns to school mid-January). We’re going to be away so maybe she’s just assuming. Her Christmas card was sweet, thanking us for the cards I sent during the semester, and the “Finals survival kit” she got for – you guessed it – finals. She enclosed a card for her brother that included a $20. Maybe it’s a leap, but I’m jumping to the conclusion that she’s thinking she’s not going to see us.

So, about that bill… I can a) ignore it and let the dire (yeah, right) consequences follow (these include possibly getting dropped from Spring enrollment, or having her transcript “held”), b) try to contact her, c) put all of the accumulated mail in an envelop and send it to her at her girlfriend’s house (where she’s staying).

I’ve crocheted a winter cap for each of the kids (Ssssh!! Don’t tell them!!!) and we’re contemplating a gift card (or “what do we get her?”) so I was already pondering communication/invitation. I’d assumed we would see her to deliver her Christmas presents. With her presents, we could deliver her mail without comment.

I’m going to sleep on it and pray on it. I do trust God above my own judgment* when it comes to raising my chirrun.

*I could have just ended that sentence at “judgment”.

Peace,

Last night as part of Family Night we toured the neighborhood to admire our neighbors lights and decorating skills…and to have fun occasionally lambasting their taste. Some houses were very high class and tastefully decorated. Some were a hodgepodge of thoughts and emotions. We saw yards that combined the peanuts gang, multiple Santas and nativity scenes. Since we’re not decorating our yard this year (we’re leaving town on the 23rd and won’t be back until January), I’m not sure if I should completely refrain from judgment or let loose and publish some of the hilarity. OK, I’ve decided on restraint.

I wasn’t going to go there at all, however, my sister posted pictures of her home’s decorated interior and asked that we imagine we’re hearing “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses. Why imagine it when you can embed it?

This is so much better than anything we had going down in our neighborhood.
Merry Christmas!!!

I completed on-line Defensive Driving 2 1/2 weeks ago to address a ticket I got 3 months ago. I was proud that I took the course in time to avoid having to pay to expedite the certificate of completion. I had that in hand 2 weeks ago. And yet…I still waited until the last possible day to go to the courthouse to turn in the paperwork. {sigh}

Well, it makes for a nice excuse to leave work early today.

Merry Christmas!

T fixed a delicious pasta dinner. He cleaned up after himself as he cooked so the kitchen was effectively clean when we sat down to eat. The dishwasher was quickly loaded and started. The tough question was not “What are we going to do for family night?” (because we had already agreed that tonight we’d tour the neighborhood) or “Are we walking or riding our bikes?” but “Is it better to discuss grades before or after our together time?”

It would be great if we didn’t have to discuss grades, however, 3 classes with failing grades (6 week average) warrant a discussion – if only to ask “what’s going on? what can we do to help?” Since he’s not allowed on the computer if he’s not passing his courses, this means that his plans for Christmas break (mid-6 weeks) are vastly affected by his grades (deja vu from last year). His dad jumped in with “the semester averages are all passing”. (I’m not sure why he and his dad bicker so much given that sort of help.) I thought we were doing this on a “per six week” basis. Did we write this down anywhere???

The discussion left T grouchy, but he recovered and we enjoyed our walk around the neighborhood looking at the Christmas (and Hanukkah) decorations.

Peace on Earth, good will towards men (and boys),

I realized that I forgot one very special person when I posted my prayer-blog. I’m reminded because I got an update from CaringBridge – a remarkable tool for keeping family and friends up-to-date on progress. Today’s update included a prayer request, as well as information on the ups and downs of this week. My friend has cancer.

God, please be with Deborah and help her have energy and appetite. Elevate her white blood count so that she can receive her treatment Friday. Support her during and after Friday’s treatment. Be with her as she anticipates the visit from her sister. Keep her focus on her own healing and on your grace, and free her from other concerns or worries.

Deborah, you are in my prayers.

Glory to God!

We say it (or at least I do) but what does it mean? Years ago, for me it was little more than a platitude. It wasn’t much different than saying “I’m thinking about you.” These days, it means a lot more to me than that.

Today I’m praying for the healing of a beautiful young woman who was injured in a head-on collision. She’s in trauma. Her breathing tube bothers her and as desperately as she needs it, she desperately wants it out. I know where she’s coming from. I’ve been there. I can be empathetic. I can share my compassion. But most importantly, I pray that God hears our cries for mercy. That He helps her relax and stop fighting the invasion of her body and that she find peace. She has to accept the foreign nature of her medical treatment. I’m imagining a fiercely independent individual who must learn to trust, to let others do their thing, and to allow herself to suffer so she can heal. I’m not sure where she was in her walk of faith a week ago. I pray that she lets her spirit reach out now. That she allows the prayers to wrap themselves around her like a shield. That she is able to drink in the faith of others like a tonic that nurtures her soul. That she is able to use the strength of others like a crutch while she mends.

She will never be who she was. She will be someone new. No matter how different, with God’s help she will be better.

Ashley, you are in my prayers.

I’m also praying for a woman I know even less about, but like Ashley, she is important to someone I care about. What I do know is that she has thyroid cancer. God, I pray that you are able to heal her body and sustain her soul. Carry her through the process. Be with her and her family as they struggle with this disease. Be by her side and let her feel your awesome presence. Be with her sister, help her know your peace.

J.Pare, you are in my prayers. Sister Pare, my friend, you are in my prayers.

And, I’m praying for a woman who struggles with her internal demons. I am not aware of any scars that you or I might notice if we met her in the retail store where she works. Her scars are within. She is beautiful inside and out, but she doubts herself and fights for freedom from all that plagues her. God, be with her and let her know that she is loved, lovable, loving.

Flutter, you are in my prayers.

I’m praying for a woman who recently broke up with a man she is better off without. One of her precious pets passed away. She grieves for her lost loves. My heart breaks for her and I pray that she her broken heart heals. God, touch her heart and mend her as her days are increasingly brightened.

Cha Cha, you are in my prayers.

I’m praying for a friend who is near and dear, who I am physically able to hug on a regular basis, and yet I may be no more articulate in letting her know… she is in my prayers. Her cat is dying. Her dog just had surgery. Financial concerns lurk, inevitably, during these trying times. God, help maintain peace in the face of the storms.

Jeanette, you are in my prayers.

Life is never easy, but sometimes it’s too much like a right cross, left jab, right uppercut in the ring. God, be with us. Be our corner-man. Shout out directions that we can’t miss. Keep our attention during brief periods of respite. Mend us, patch us up, keep us in the ring. I pray to You for all of the people I know who need You…that’s all of the people I know. They are in my prayers and that means a lot. Thank you for hearing me.

Blessings,

Like snippets of conversation overheard in passing. Incomplete. Not real. Yet to be fulfilled. Not fully understood because key elements are missing. Nothing to indicate whether my imagination can successfully complete the picture. Nothing to stop me from trying.