A funny thing happened on the way to December

Posted on December 2, 2010 by Fran Hart
One morning, late in October, on the first morning following the Women of Faith Conference in San Antonio, I awoke early and went to my favorite spot (in the sun room) for morning prayer. And I took a petition to God.
“God,” I said. “Should I try to write a novel in November?” You see, I had NaNoWriMo on my mind. If you’re not familiar with NaNoWriMo, it’s the annual shaking loose of 50,000 words, ideally coherent, in the form of a novel.
After I offered up my petition, I proceeded to list the plethora of reasons why it was a bad idea, including the best possible excuse “I don’t even have a plot in mind!” And immediately (and I really do mean IMMEDIATELY) God graced me with a plot: Write about a woman whose soul is fought over by the forces of good and evil.
“Wow! Thanks God. I’ve got it from here!”
Then for two weeks I suffered from interruptions and illness to the point of giving up. Seriously. And I was justified in quitting, I assure you. By the morning of November 14 I’d written a grand total of ~2777 words. That’s an average of barely more than 200 words per day. To reach 50k it takes an average of 1,667 words per day. By the morning of November 19 (a whole 5 days later, in case you’re not doing the math) my average was up to almost 440 words per day. Pitiful.
Then I went to lunch with my priest. If any of you are really wanting to get some insightful counseling from a pastor who cares, I sincerely recommend a session with Bruce. He channels the voice of God.
So yeah, God, in the form of my priest Father Bruce, kicked me in the seat of my figurative pants and asked me if I was going to obey or insult Him with my continued whining about “I can’t”.
Sure, the month was almost 3/4 over. Sure, I was woefully behind. Was I implying that God couldn’t? This is God we’re talking about here. The same God who whittled down Gideon’s army from 32k to 300 so that their victory over the Midionites (who were thick as locusts) would be credited to God. Yes, that God.
What’s a girl to do? I sat my butt down in front of my computer and averaged over 3800 words per day for the next 12 days and I finished the novel that God put on my heart. And if you don’t believe me, well here’s my tracking spreadsheet (yes, I’m an engineer) and my winner’s banner:


Posted in discipline, faith, reward, trust, Writing | 2 Comments

The valley and the mountaintop

Posted on November 8, 2010 by Fran Hart

When you’re walking through the valley, sometimes it is enough to know that there are mountaintops. Faith, by the definition offered in Hebrews 11:1, is confidence in the things we hope for but can’t see.

I’m not worried about my valley. Life happens in the valleys. Evangelism happens in the valleys. Faith happens in the valleys. I trust that there is a mountaintop in my future. I don’t need to see it now to know that my turn will come.
Today I was blessed by a Kairos closing ceremony. I don’t think it’s possible to attend a Kairos closing without being blessed by the experience. It’s unfortunate that there are some whose attitude might detract from the experience but today I thankfully wasn’t affected by that. Listening to the Kairos participants talk is all about listening to the voices calling from the mountaintop. They are swimming in love, glowing with grace and glory, overflowing with the Spirit. It’s a beautiful thing.
My friend Bernie reminded me that my blog was moldering in the valley. Yes, I’ve been busy. Busy with work. Busy with world travel. Busy with weak attempts at this year’s NaNoWriMo. Busy with working out. Busy with playing the piano. Busy with the valley.
I drove to/from the Bartlett state jail in my ’99 Mustang convertible, top down, hair flying…and I enjoyed my freedom. I enjoyed knowing that there will be better days. That’s my faith, and I’m living it.
Posted in adulthood, faith, prayer, trust, Writing | 2 Comments

The Valley of Humiliation

Posted on October 16, 2010 by Fran Hart
Sometimes it takes the convergence of apparently unrelated vectors in life to shake us awake so we can appreciate the reality of our circumstances. In the work-world, I’ve been giving and receiving advice about how to not just survive but thrive in the corporate environment. Meanwhile, I’ve fallen behind in my daily reading of Oswald Chamber’s devotional “My Utmost for His Highest”. This morning, before I rose I read the October 2nd entry “The Place of Humiliation” and it struck a chord, resonating and filling me with truth. I may be in Taipei physically but spiritually, mentally and emotionally I’m walking in the Valley of Humiliation.

I’ve gotten a little (or extremely) full of myself, thinking I deserve better than what I’m getting. I trust God and I trust God’s timing… but why is this situation taking so long to “fix”? Why must I suffer so? Aren’t I destined for greatness?
Where is my faith as I survive the mundane? I’ve fallen into a trap of believing that my faith will enable me to do great things. Instead, I realize now that I should focus on revealing God’s glory in the valley, where the real work happens. That’s faith. Real faith. Trusting God not because I’m living in a moment of heightened awareness, overwhelmed by the sheer joy of knowing Him but because in the absence of any clear indication of His presence I still know He is here with me.
God doesn’t have to prove anything to me and God doesn’t owe me anything. Life in the valley of humiliation is what it is: life. We can’t serve God’s greater purpose without spending time humbly trudging along in the valley. That, my friends, is God’s kingdom here on earth. Welcome.
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9 weeks of P90X + 3 weeks of inactivity = square one

Posted on October 16, 2010 by Fran Hart

For those who’ve never tried it, the P90X commitment is not to be taken lightly. The workouts take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half (if you’re doing the “Ab Ripper” workout after weights). The routine varies between weights and aerobics, yoga, stretching and kenpo (my favorite). There is daily variation and weekly variation and the whole program is nothing short of intense.

My last post was 6 days in to the 90 day commitment. I started right after the 4th of July weekend.
A month after I started my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with a beautiful ceremony/reception. Preparation for that consumed plenty of time and energy. Around that time my beloved husband gave me a new used piano, which introduced a new discipline of 30-minutes-a-day of piano practice into my already busy routine.
In mid-August I spent a week in Taiwan on a business trip. In mid-September my husband and I spent a week in Hawaii on our “honeymoon” vacation. On the last afternoon of our vacation I slipped on a lava rock and sliced open my toe, requiring 6 stitches and a hiatus from my workout routine. I couldn’t risk pulling the wound open. Although I’d diligently maintained my workout discipline throughout all of the demands of life, work and travel I suddenly found myself “grounded.”
That was September 23rd, the end of my first week of inactivity (vacation). The slice on the bottom of my foot restricted my walking to a slow limping pace, which further slowed me down. Yes, maybe there were some things I could still do but I’d lost my momentum. It’s amazing how quickly things unwind. This week I started with some baby steps – push-ups on my knees (so I don’t flex my torn toe), crunches, a few wall squats. It’s depressing to realize how quickly the flab returned. And I look back and realize how much time flew by while I was busybusybusy with exercise, piano, reading, etc. But not writing.
So, no “after” photos yet of the great beachbody the P90X routine is supposed to yield. I’m not sure how I’ll tally the time devoted given the on-again off-again nature of this effort. I’m not sure I want to go back to the 7-day-a-week regimen. I definitely do NOT want to give up completely on the exercise. Maybe there’s a happy medium because one thing I DO want is to find time to write again.
When I get back on my feet (or rather the balls of my toes) I will be seeking balance, and not just through yoga training.
Posted in blogs, commitment, discipline, not writing, Vacation, Writing | Comments Off on 9 weeks of P90X + 3 weeks of inactivity = square one

Ni Hao, Taipei

Posted on October 16, 2010 by Fran Hart

I’ve been in Taipei since Tuesday. I’m finally feeling caught up on my sleep and relatively past the jetlag of the westbound journey. I left Austin Sunday evening and arrived in Taipei at about 6:30 am Tuesday. There’s a 13 hour time difference so it was Monday evening back in Austin. Yes, the commute generally takes 20-24 hours including the layover at LAX and the 14hr leg between LA and Taipei. I was desperately looking forward to a shower/change at the hotel. What I wasn’t looking forward to was the unexpected 2 hour wait for the hotel to get my room ready. I spent most of that time napping on a sofa in the lobby while the businessmen came and went, arriving in dribbles and leaving in waves as they boarded their respective shuttles on the half-hour. I’d snap awake from a dose realizing I was in the thick of a throng of mandarin-speaking suits.

The hotel gave me a breakfast pass and after much encouragement I finally went to the buffet but alas, my tummy was not of a mind to dine. I settled for some cream of mushroom soup, which was actually quite good. What I really needed was a nap. And a blessed shower and change of clothes.

Fast-forward a few hours and I’m in the office feeling fresh as a daisy. Wait…no. I did make it to the office but my stomach was gnarly and rebellious so I after about 30 minutes I went back to the hotel and slept almost solid (woke for a quick “phone home” on Oovoo) through til the next morning.

I’ve not found any magic formulas for survival but I do know that daily yogurt, plenty of sleep and exercise are keys to success. Unfortunately I’m not getting much exercise (see my last post) but I’m doing okay on the other fronts. The last two nights I’ve gotten about 6 hours of sleep versus the tossing and turning that had been going on. What a difference!

I’ve been a slacker on the photo-taking but I did snap one shot of the soup I had for dinner via room service Wednesday night. Beef noodle soup is a staple for me here. I wish I’d gotten a pic of the soup I had for dinner at the food court near my Taipei office on Thursday. It was black. The locals refer to it as “herbal” or “good health” soup. No one can tell me what’s in it. Well, other than the black chicken that is. Why is it black? What’s behind that dark, almost burnt taste? Are those two attributes related? This remains a mystery.

Last night I enjoyed a happy hour buffet celebration with the Program Management team. The food was awesome. Although there was no English to identify the food, there were enough choices that I was able to stick with things I recognized and they were all over-the-top delicious. And there was plenty of Taiwan beer for everyone. I also had my share of watermelon juice.

Which brings me to this morning. I had the opportunity to spend the day at the National Palace Museum but opted instead for a day of R&R, which includes some long overdue blog posts and a walk to the park where I’ll enjoy reading Camille DeAngelis’ Petty Magic. As soon as I finish here, I’m off to be there.

Zai Jian!

Posted in employment, reading, Taipei, Travel | 1 Comment

Outlive Your Life by Max Lucado (Book Review*)

Posted on September 11, 2010 by Fran Hart


If I’ve ever wondered whether God could possibly have any use for an average Joe such as myself, Max Lucado’s latest book Outlive Your Life carefully spells out a resounding “YES!” based on examples found in scripture as well as modern history.

Max Lucado brings life to the characters of the Bible, setting the scene and filling in dialogue, empowering images of ourselves and those we know facing the same issues and decisions. He complements familiar tales with personal examples and with stories of average citizens who accomplished extraordinary things through simple acts of grace. With the examples comes a sense of accessibility for steps we can take in our own lives to make changes that will outlast us.
One of the thought-provoking questions that prompted this book is this: “When your grandchildren discover you lived during a day in which 1.75 billion people were poor and 1 billion were hungry, how will they judge your response?” Outlive Your Life is a “salute to a long life: goodness that oulives the grave, love that outlasts the final breath.”
The chapters open with scripture and close with scripture and relevant prayer. The pages in between are reflect more scripture with references to Old and New Testament players great and small. Jesus, Abraham, Peter…most are familiar with their roles in changing history. How about Saul? In Max’s retelling of Saul’s remarkable conversion tears well up and my heart fills my chest. Even the misguided can be turned around and put to God’s good use. What about those who willfully do wrong? Ananias and Sapphira are offered as examples of what not to do, a reminder that God is mighty and just.
Max Lucado gives examples of lives effected by modern apostles such as Bzuneh, a recovering alcoholic in Ethiopia saved by a loving congregation and the example set by Necati, a devout Christian who died crying “Messiah! Messiah!” at the hands of Islamic attackers in Turkey.
Are these examples too extreme or too hard to imagine from the comfort of your own home? Fortunately, there are frequent suggestions for the small acts that we can all perform in our daily lives with little to no disruption in our routine. Pay attention to the people around us. Let them know we care. Look them in the eye and acknowledge their pain and sorrow. It is in serving the least of these that we glorify God.
Finally, the book concludes with a Discussion and Action Guide (prepared by David Drury) that captures the principles of each chapter and offers discussion questions and ideas for action. These points will help personalize the lessons and identify practical actions to bear the fruit of the Spirit.
“May you live in such a way that your death is just the beginning of your life.” (Max Lucado, Outlive Your Life) This book is a practical guide to helping you do just that.
*Review based on advance copy of Outlive Your Life.
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Teens: You gotta love ’em!

Posted on August 19, 2010 by Fran Hart

It was inevitable. He’s 16. He can’t help himself. He must transition from child to adult. Unlike a caterpillar whose transition allows them the comfort of a cocoon to effectively insulate them from the world, teens must go out into the world and face the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. And worse, other teens. And teachers. And police officers who pull them over and issue citations (but that I’ll save for another post).

What’s a mother to do?
Love, love, love! And when that’s not enough, love them some more.
I’ve had to remind myself of this lately. When my teen comes home tired and cranky, I need to offer love. When he tries to reject my love, I need to offer more love.
How?
I write him notes that tell him I love him. I communicate with him (about my day, about his day, about his dreams and plans). I do things for him (“Are you hungry? Can I fix you a sandwich?”). I encourage him (“Wow! That’s great! You’re really doing a good job.). I pat him on the back (literally).
This post is as much for me as for you. The rewards of this sacrifice are not immediately evident. My love can easily be rebuffed or rejected. But I am determined to respond with MORE not less. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.
Posted in adulthood, child-rearing, children, empty nest, family, life, love, teens, Tips for Better Living, trust, Wisdom | 4 Comments

Confessions of a Workaholic

Posted on August 17, 2010 by fghart

When I googled “Workaholics Anonymous” I was only half-joking. Last week was my first serious effort to break free from the pit that mires me. Like any addiction, she calls to me, tempting me with her siren song. I want to understand her better.

There have been times when I’ve succumbed to the addiction because work gives me a strong sense of job satisfaction. It feels good to work. It feels good to know I’m doing well at something. Elsewhere in my life I’m a puddle of incompetence and insecurity.

These days the compulsion seems to be driven by my need to conquer – “I. WILL. NOT. LET. THIS. GET. THE. BETTER. OF. ME.” And yet, in the battle I’m giving the best of me. As a result I’m depleted. Exhausted. Practically defeated.

I began to dream of retiring and writing full-time…but that’s impractical. Maybe a more realistic goal is to find a job that allows me to have balance in my life.

Although I’ve been diligent in my commitment to P90X (1-1.5 hrs per day) and the arrival of a new used piano in my living room has brought extreme pleasure and a commitment of 30 minutes practicing each day, my dream of writing finds me staring wordless at the screen. All of the brilliant posts I craft during my commute, run, shower, or boring meetings … all of those words evaporate when I sit down at my desk and position my hands on the keyboard.

So in the rare moments I claim for non-work-computer-time I surf, reading the blogs of the truly brilliant, the witty, the articulate, the creative, the popular. And I shrink further inside myself. The snarky voice in my head that tells me I’m a fool feeds on my discontent and my fear. And I slink away.

Posted in discipline, faith, Wants, Writing | 4 Comments

Hi, my name is Fran and I’m a workaholic

Posted on July 27, 2010 by fghart

There are two types of addictions in this world. Some addictions, like cigarettes and alcohol, when you quit, you quit. I believe* that social smokers and social drinkers are not really addicted. Other addictions, like food and work, are far harder to control. You can’t quit work or quit eating the same way you quit alcohol or cigarettes. Or rather, you can…but the consequences are remarkably unpleasant.

*I would love to hear from social smokers/drinkers who believe they are addicted. My claim is based on personal experience.

In my last post, I quipped about the need for a 12-step program for workaholics. Shortly after posting my commitment to work less, I committed to a 10pm conference call with my Taiwan-based boss. Because…well…I’ve got a problem. And the first step to recovery is admitting that I have a problem. So, I’m confessing it here and now. Cue: Those who know and love me can suck in their fake gasps and raise their eyebrows for effect.

I’ve struggled with this addiction for years. It’s classic behavior for the goal-oriented overachiever. No biggy. Except it’s time to move on and I can’t seem to let go.

Why do I work so many hours? I could bore you with my theories. I’m addicted to the glory? I seek affirming praise? I’m filling a void in my heart & soul? Most addictions seem to stem from our desire to fill a missing element of our being that is best filled by our Creator.

These days I seem to be clinging to the comfortable discomfort of the known versus the frightening unknown. The time has come for me to walk in faith. Just as I’m exercising and trying to have discipline in my diet, I must have discipline in how I’m spending my time. I must devote myself to developing new skills. I must say “no” to some work demands in order to say “yes” to the new habits that will bring me to a new place.

I’m not ready to quit my job, although it sucks me in like an addiction. I am confident that I can change some habits and break free from the addiction’s stronghold.

What are some effective ways to break free from this type of addiction? What’s worked for you?

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Work can be an idol

Posted on July 21, 2010 by fghart

Have you ever said something out loud (or hit “publish” on a post) then realized the implications of what you articulated? Last week I lost sight of my priorities. More accurately, this weekend I realized I’d lost sight of my priorities. The dimming of my vision happened gradually over time; it wasn’t an event that occurred last week. My last post helped me realize my spiritual vision was muddied by the scales covering my eyes.

I was struggling with the dilemma created by my need to recommend pay increases for myself and my team based on a limited budget. In these times of rampant unemployment and folks living from paycheck to paycheck, I suppose it’s not a bad problem to have. Unfortunately, I’m frustrated by my workload. I feel taken advantage of. I’m doing the work of 2.5 people for the same pay I was making 2-3 years ago.

What I forgot is … I’m not that into my career these days. The best thing that could happen to me is for me to turn away from my current devotion. I have to confess, I have an unhealthy and inappropriate devotion to my job. It happens occasionally. My work consumes me. Endless conference calls at the start and close of each day, working through weekends, needing to be in the office during the “normal” business hours. My responsibilities seem to be growing like a virus. The weight of my little organization is causing my shoulders to droop and my head to bow. My thoughts, my time, my spirit are filled with work, work, work.

I pray for relief. I pray for intervention. “God, Please guide me!”

Finally, with the realization I’m inflicting these demands on myself I’ve decided to cut back on the hours I’m devoting to work and allow myself the time I need to devote to other things, like writing. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t need to be doing the work of 2.5 people. It’ll be a blessing to redirect my devotion. Work should not be an idol.

Now it’s just a matter of changing my compulsive bad habits and forming new, healthy habits. Is there a 12-step program for workaholics?

What other idols capture our souls?

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments