Thirst for Wisdom

“Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.”
Proverbs 11:28

In these days of uncertainty, our faith is tried. I don’t know about you but my 401K is a 200.5K – suffering mightily from the market downturn. But I am so blessed in my immediate wealth. God has given me more than I ever imagined. It is so easy to take on the responsibility of fretting about our future. I’m glad that is not a yoke I’m tempted to bear. I am not watching the market. I am not weeping, wailing or gnashing my teeth. These words of wisdom from Proverbs certainly help me feel justified in my disinterest.

But am I righteous?

“For we will be counted as righteous when we obey all the commands the Lord our God has given us.” Deuteronomy 6:25

Ah! There’s a sticking point. Am I obedient? I certainly try, but I’ve been struggling with God’s desire for me to write. This week marks the 1 year anniversary of the death of my last novel. I’d written all of 3 pages, then I left for a business trip to China. The only copy of the novel was on a traveling USB storage device (“key”). Let us pause for a moment to respect my mourning….the file was unrecoverable….. My 2nd attempt at a “great American novel” was gone. It died a premature death. I wept bitterly.

The journey since then has been fascinating (at least to me). And here I am. Journaling about my journey through life. My search for deeper faith, deeper understanding and a deeper, more intimate relationship with our Father. Seeking words of wisdom.

“But wisdom is shown to be right by the lives of those who follow it.” Luke 7:35

So, I am not going to worry about money, I am going to focus on being obedient (righteous). If God wants me to write, I will write and I will quit fretting about “why?” and “for whom?” and even “what?” I will write. The proof of the wisdom of my actions will be seen when we look back, even if it can’t be seen now.

Please pray for me. I am unreasonably afraid. This fear is not something God can address. I have to overcome this fear to demonstrate my faith. If I were afraid of something “real” of this world, I could turn it over to God. God can give me strength, yes. But this demon, this fear is mine to overcome – and I will be its master.

Please pray for me. I am not operating in a realm of comfort. I am not able to look back on my track record and presume competence. I have nothing but my faith to push me down the path. And the voice that whispers (and sometimes shouts) when I am still and quiet. “Write. Trust Me.”

And yet, I hesitate.

Please pray for me.

About Fran Hart

Disciple of Christ, earning a living as the director of US-based operations for a Taiwanese company, managing an engineering organization while carving out time to write. Wife, Mother, Grandmother.
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4 Responses to Thirst for Wisdom

  1. dallasdiva says:

    You have a gift. You are totally amazing. I love you. Now Write!!

  2. Heidi says:

    My very good friend said to me a few days ago, “You can do this.” I’ll say it to you too. You can do this.

  3. therextras says:

    “This fear is not something God can address.”

    Not. All you have to do is ask Him. Stubborness.

    I was in a meeting recently. One of the panel members said “do what you fear”. I’m taking that message to heart or as meant for me. And I pass it on to you. Barbara

  4. you gotta wonder says:

    Diva, Thank you, always.

    Heidi, I sooo appreciate your support.

    Barbara, you got me good. I realized after this post that my prayer must shift to a direct request for help in overcoming the fear of things imagined.

    Thank you all! Your support means more to me than you can imagine.