Spam, spam, spam, spam. Spam, spam, spam, spam.

I must confess, I do not understand most of the spam I receive. I remember when Spam was a food substitute. Now it’s just comment fodder for my blog. I do like it when the comments are at least complimentary or ambiguous enough that I pause before flagging as “spam”. A while ago I received a spate of spam that was complimentary but consistently plagued with typos. So consistently I wondered if the typos were injected to somehow create the impression of humanity. Here are some of my favorites and not-so-favorites.

Those trying to sell products or services (the essayists are the most annoying):

  • Do you know a good place where I can find the best bingo dauber (from a bingo dauber site. what is a bingo dauber?)
  • Oh my gosh! That is the delightful thing I’ve ever seen !!!! Some time to receive the Academic degree you must buy essay writing services

Or purely random:

  • I have removed this phrase
  • The amusing information
  • need to check
  • Easier on turns!

Moderately affirming:

  • I certainly learned about almost all of this, but that being said, I still considered it turned out helpful. Very good job!
  • Hey man! I completely agree with your opinion. I’ve just added it to bookmarks.
  • What necessary phrase… super, excellent idea
  • Thanks for some great information reagrding this
  • When you might e-mail me with a few recommendations on simply how you made your blog look this wonderful, I might be grateful.
  • Very good suggestions, you just gained a brand new reader. I’m curious if you have any follow ups to this post?
  • Just want to say your article is as amazing. The clarity in your post is just spectacular and i could assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please carry on the enjoyable work.

The “I want to be a fan/follower”:

  • Do you people have a facebook fan web page? I looked for one on twitter however couldn’t uncover one, I would love to turn out to be a fan!
  • Nice post, thank you. Do you have a Twitter account?
  • Awesome post, where is the rss? I cant find it!
  • Oh my goodness! a tremendous article dude. Thanks However I’m experiencing situation with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting equivalent rss problem? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

Sometimes one spammer goes to town (from Balsamic reduction recipe, aka gnocci pronunciation):

  • I have been meaning to post something like this on my blog and this gave me an idea. Cheers.
  • This is a different sort of opinion that many people don’t usually talk about. Sometimes I fav stuff like this on Redit. Although this time I’m not sure if this would be best for the users. I’ll look around and find another article that may work.
  • Outstanding! When something works, just reinforce it,right? Point out how well everything went when they chose a certain action and how if they choose that again they can have a similar result. but i dont understand why the viewpoint changed drastically.
  • This is a different sort of opinion that many people don’t usually talk about. Sometimes I fav stuff like this on Redit. Although this time I’m not sure if this would be best for the users. I’ll look around and find another article that may work.
  • A fine post by every standards, but i had exptected a more personal interaction on your part, as in where you express your detailed opinion as well, but each person has a different style of expressing,hence its fine.
  • If you really want you can look the other way and not talk about it.but you talked.thanls.Don’t give up your morals for anything. This will lead to a sad and unfulfilling life.
  • i tried reading your website from my xperia x10 but it wasnt visible properly.is your website mobile supported?
  • If you really want you can look the other way and not talk about it.but you talked.thanls.Don’t give up your morals for anything. This will lead to a sad and unfulfilling life.
  • Your article seems interesting, i have noted it my digg and stumble account.The point you are making is easy to understand and effective.
  • so you think this way on this topic. i am not sure whether i am with you or against you on this.
  • I’m having a small issue I can’t get my reader to pickup your rss feed, I’m using google reader by the way.
  • I added your blog to Feedr android app.but your feed doesnt appear.can you tell me how to configure your feed in my android app for rss feeds?I am using feedr android app.

There was a delightfully affirming period when google, yahoo and bing were all over me! In the space of a few days, I received well over 100 comments, all listing the website of a search engine. Not a single comment was spared the typos (this is a drop in the bucket relative to the pages of spam one-liners):

  • Many many quality pontis there.
  • All of my quetsoins settled—thanks!
  • Articles like this are an epxmale of quick, helpful answers.
  • Extremely helpful arcitle, please write more.
  • I suppose that soudns and smells just about right.
  • I can’t beielve I’ve been going for years without knowing that.
  • That’s way the bestest aswner so far!
  • Woah nelly, how about them aplpes!
  • Ppl like you get all the brains. I just get to say thanks for he awensr.
  • Wow, your post makes mine look fbelee. More power to you!
  • Haha. I woke up down today. You’ve cheeerd me up!
  • Great stuff, you hpeeld me out so much!
  • Such a deep aswenr! GD&RVVF
  • IMHO you’ve got the right aswner!
  • THX that’s a great anwser!
  • Thank you so much for this aitcrle, it saved me time!
  • Hey, that post leaves me feeling fooislh. Kudos to you!
  • To think, I was confused a mniute ago.
  • I went to tons of links before this, what was I tihnikng?
  • Big help, big help. And superltavie news of course.
  • I feel so much happier now I unrdestand all this. Thanks!

My current favorite is the french dude. Merci, mon cher!

  • Merci pour le billet. J’ai aussi abordé cette thèmatique sur mon site. Par la même occasion, je viens de poster un lien vers cet article.
  • Merci pour le billet. J’ai également abordé ce sujet sur mon blog. Par la même occasion, je viens de poster un lien vers ce billet.
  • Merci pour votre billet. J’ai aussi abordé ce sujet via mon site. Je viens de poster ce lien vers ce billet.

About Fran Hart

Disciple of Christ, earning a living as the director of US-based operations for a Taiwanese company, managing an engineering organization while carving out time to write. Wife, Mother, Grandmother.
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